GIRLS ARE NOT FUNNY

Teenage Boys: Another Reason why Girls are not Funny

Orlando, FL

Discipling teenage girls is fun because it means that teenage boys are not far away. Unfortunately though, our boy to girl ratio is about one to ten. So when strategizing on how we could bring in more boys I turned to the Homecoming King of one of the local high schools and asked, “Carson, how can we use your popularity to bring in more dudes?” In which a guy leader interrupted with a tone of disappointment in me for pumping Carson’s ego and said, “What she is trying to say, Carson, is how can you influence guys around you at your high school to partake in our community?”

The shame of irresponsibly asking that question did not last long because Carson’s instant response, in a very concerned tone was, “But all my friends are girls.”

Guys like Carson make things very exciting because consequently, girls are not funny.

For instance, Carson started the #rudenudes hashtag on instagram. So when a teacher turns their head in class or during an innocent walk down the hall, Carson will unbutton his shirt and a friend with an iPhone will not be too far off to capture the moment. It’s turned into a cultural phenomenon down here in Orlando amongst high schoolers. Unfortunately, some have taken the “nude” part extremely literal. I’ve already seen one too many underage butts.

So what I am basically saying is – Carson is that guy we all knew in high school that gets away with anything and everything, all for the sake of humor, and if a girl tried any of this, she’d be a slut. He also happens to love me, a lot. Last week he asked me to marry him. It’s all very adorable, very hilarious.

So to help paint the picture, I thought I’d share some photos I receive from him, of himself of course, with both impeccable and awkward timing.

So when Carson finally made a guest appearance at Family Dinner with all of my friends, I made him tell everyone about his self-generated, slightly inappropriate hashtag. Once the story was told, an instant challenge was given: Carson had to take a rude nude without any of us noticing.

Twenty minutes later, someone checked their instagram and found this:

So thankful for Carson, his heart for the lost at his school, and of course, his humor.

Jesus: The Counter-Culturalist

Orlando, FL

Let’s take a look at John four.

To Jews, Samaritans sucked. They were unclean, racially horrendous and Holy Scripture manipulators. When making the three day trek between Jerusalem and the Galilee, which occurs in this text, Jews avoided Samaria – an almost half way mark.

But Jesus.

In verse four it says,

But He needed to go through Samaria.  

No He didn’t! He needed to avoid it, like everyone else. Right?

He needed to avoid strange women, Samaritan women at that, right? Like the woman at the well, who said to him in verse nine,

“How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.

By verse nine, Jesus has violated three cultural norms, all for the sake of His ministry and glory. 1. Made purposeful contact with the Samaritans. 2. Talked to a woman. 3. Talked to a Samaritan.

At this point in the night, as I am passionately preaching this text to my high school girls, one of them takes a moment in between pauses to tell me, “You know, with that tone and blazer you are wearing, you kind of remind me of a dad.”

My love for blazers seemingly never goes unnoticed with past comments I have received such as this, in which you think I would stop wearing them. But a blazer paired with a cute little dress is my fashion addiction.

As the girly, teenage giggles ensue, I grab their attention by saying, “So what you’re trying to say Ali, is that I look like a dyke.”

The room erupts and I have now lost them to yet another moment of where I have left them amused but still asking themselves – is this girl really allowed to be our discipleship leader? Similar to when they saw a photo of me smoking a clove on instagram and that other time I called myself a “shithead” when referencing my absolute need for God’s grace.

Ali’s face is completely red. And Kate, the hilarious and most newly follower of Christ of the group as of two months ago, who spends most her time quoting Summer Heights High and lacks any kind of Christendom social norms, slaps on a girly whiny voice and makes a lesbian innuendo by saying, “But it only happened once!”

Now I am leveled, grabbing my stomach and laughing with watery eyes.

As that simmers, we finish looking at the rich text. There are a lot of theological stops on the way through chapter four of John, such as: living water, lovingly addressing the woman’s sin, food to do the Father’s will, a whitened harvest with sowing and reaping, and a similarity in how this woman was used to how Mary was used in chapter two – an active faith that pushed others into active faith.

Those things are good. Those things make me want to do somersaults and smell flowers, but what I wanted to take closer look at is what happens in verses twenty three through twenty six,

“But the hours is coming, and now is, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When He comes, He will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.”

It is 2012 and the new covenant is established. Disciples have been commissioned and now we are riding the coat tails of western missionaries. We have broken into denominations. We have reformed. We love the Gospel and we tell people about it. And with that, it becomes hard to fathom that people existed without a Messiah and with only the promise of one.

Right here in these scriptures, Jesus is foreshadowing to a much bigger proclamation. He has chosen a sinful, Samaritan woman to say – you have been waiting for your Messiah and I am He! To firstly proclaim reconciliation amongst the God of the Jews with the Samaritans and to further foreshadow the reconciliation that would be occurring between that same God and the Gentiles just a couple years down the road, on a cross at Calvary.

Maybe today you need to be reminded that Jesus if for everyone, every nation. So let’s be a part of it.  

The Study of Juan: Turning Water into Margaritas

Orlando, CA

High school girls. One of the reasons I landed in Florida before any other desired location. If you know a group of high school girls that need some discipleship, truth and grace spoken over them and a kick in the butt – then I’m probably heading to a town near you.

Along with a couple of Gospel-loving and Gospel-reminding dudes I’ve known for a few years now, I help lead a sort of small group soon to be youth group here in Florida. Let me tell you, nothing makes a couple of dudes more courteous and inviting like a willing young woman like me, coming in and taking about 15 girls off their hands. It’s hilarious. They’re just so nice. Nonetheless, I love filling the need and more than that, I love discipleship.

We’re going through John. Check out what we studied last week:

3 And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” 4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”

Besides the slight out-of-context justification I derive from this text that involves me drinking more, I love this text. Mary’s example is extraordinary.

Mary knew Jesus, she knew him very well. It’s because of her knowing that provoked faith. Have you considered today that your lack of faith could be spurred by the lack of knowing the character and word of Christ? Jesus straight up denies helping her in verse 4 and with not a second thought, Mary, in faith tells the servants to do whatever Jesus says because she knew he was going to move and instruct. And He did.

You’re probably familiar. There’s wine, loads of it. The master of the feast is like, “What the heck? This is the best wine ever! Usually, in our hospitality-bent culture, we put the best wine out first so the drunkards can’t tell the difference.” Not only does this signify Jesus working on behalf of our needs but also in the best way possible. This text promises me, that His ways are best. We can’t always gauge that in the earthly sense, Jesus is after the Kingdom, though it will always be in the eternal sense. As for the faith; that’s for us. Jesus’ work on our behalf is constant and merciful, even without it. But when we act out on faith – his blessings are now apparent and tangible to us while glorifying to Him.

Now check this:

10 This is the beginning signs of Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciple believed in Him.

Through faith, Mary not only got to be a part of Jesus’ first miracle, but she took the servants, the party guests and the stinking disciples with her. Mary reminded and persuaded to believe more – Jesus’ own disciples – of the Gospel! That’s rad.

Are we willing to not only operate out of place of faith when, we as His children are in need, but are we also willing to take a slew of others along with us? Scripturally, that kind of faith is offered to us.

These are the type of women – Marys – that I want to disciple and raise up.