December 2011
13 posts
4 tags
Homeless Uncle Texting
San Diego, CA
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COMM 103
San Diego, CA
Tonight concludes one of my favorite college courses I have ever taken. COMM 103.
It has taken me five and a half years of crawling through college to end up exactly where I am now – somehow doing school backwards and taking GE classes. Cheers.
But. This speech class has been a riot. We had to do a “special occasion” speech tonight about people(s) in our class. This came...
Teachers 2 v. Jessica 2
San Diego, CA
I am certain that humans are naturally depraved. Nothing has convinced me more of this than my relationship with teachers.
One time, my British Literature teacher threw Pygmalion or Tale of Two Cities or some other book I spark-noted that year at my head. He like didn’t miss, I seriously got hit in the head.
Good job jerk, your total depravity point.
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4 tags
The Coldest House in all of Southern California
San Diego, CA
Early this afternoon I was enjoying an extended morning and by which I mean lots of reading and lots of coffee. Cheers to cancelled classes! I was looking extra dapper, trying to stay warm. Clad in flannel pajama pants that were strategically tucked into my socks at mid-calf, a men’s size large brown flannel shirt that I bought at Kohls (don’t judge me) to have as some sort of...
6 tags
The You’re Pretty Can I Come Visit You Guy
San Diego, CA
Avoid that guy. That guy is really great and is just waiting to slightly break your heart. That guy will leave you asking yourself – What just happened? And – did I seriously just introduce that guy to my mom?
You’re probably wondering, what do you mean “The You’re Pretty Can I Come Visit You Guy”? Well, mutual friends wanted to set us up but the only problem was – we didn’t exactly...
6 tags
That One Time I Saw my Teacher Naked - Teachers 2...
San Diego, CA
I am certain that humans are naturally depraved. Nothing has convinced me more of this than my relationship with teachers.
There is some sort of irreverent, fearlessness that develops within a 16 year old girl. You are willing to do and say a lot of things all in the name of fun and expression. Expression especially, I think that’s when I began writing poetry regularly – who...
da Gospel
You know that classic plot line that follows a writer who is stuck writing about things they aren’t passionate about or don’t matter? And by the end of the movie the writer finally gets to write about the AIDS epidemic in Africa.
Well, I’m the writer and this is my AIDS epidemic…
The Gospel is powerful. It has the ability to save as well as get you killed. Take Andrew for instance, that...
4 tags
Britty Bralazer
I met Brittany, a roommate of mine at a Bible study the gang and I started about a couple years ago. The girls got together to pray and she stopped us and said, “Isn’t it just so great that we’re daughters of an alien King that will one day separate us from our mortal bodies and unite with us in His alien Kingdom?”
The flabbergasted faces of our group were inconceivable....
November 2011
11 posts
Watch
6 tags
San Diego, CA
I started tweeting again recently. This is what my friend, Garrett had to say about it.
Read this if you don’t know what his last hashtag means.
5 tags
Teachers 2 v. Jessica 0
San Diego, CA
I am certain that humans are naturally depraved. Nothing has convinced me more of this than my relationship with teachers.
I left most of my teachers believing I had some sort of severe learning disability. Technically, I don’t. I never did homework and by my senior year of high school, I ditched at least one class daily. Learning disability or lazy, you be the judge. Some...
7 tags
Thanksgiving Conversations
San Diego, CA
Homeless uncle was in the bathroom for fifteen minutes. This begins to make the family uncomfortable because he is either drinking or violating the bathroom with fecal matter.
Mom: Ugh, Homeless Uncle really stunk up the bathroom. Ewww (violently waves her hand to scatter the stench).
Pause
Aunt: Oh sorry. That was me.
Jessica: Bahahahahahaha
____________
Going around the...
2 tags
San Diego, CA
Last month, before I launched the site, I asked my friend Bailey for some advice. Look at how supportive he is.
5 tags
Teachers 1 v. Jessica 0
San Diego, CA
I am certain that humans are naturally depraved. Nothing has convinced me more of this than my relationship with teachers.
I once called my eighth grade teacher a F***ing B****.
You know how the Bible talks about being dead in your sin. Well sometimes I debate within my heart as to when the good Lord truly made me alive. Was it when I repeated after my mom to ask Jesus into my...
9 tags
Introducing: Boss Lady
San Diego, CA
I have a boss lady. Her name is Jen. For about the last couple of years, Jen has been one of the most influential kicks in the butt of my life. There is no topic relevant to me that she is unwilling or unable to give advice on. Period. The woman is unstoppable. Mother of three under the age of four, MBA, ball-buster at a defense consulting company, wife to deployed Navy doctor and...
WatchKristen Wiig’s Global Warming Solution from Kristen Wiig
6 tags
Teachers v. Jessica
San Diego, CA
I am certain that humans are naturally depraved. Nothing has convinced me more of this than my relationship with teachers.
I believe High School fosters an ample opportunity for humor. This primarily occurs when your teacher is funny. I once had a Star Wars loving, nerdy, music teacher who was just that. Funny. Unfortunately, like most male teachers, I challenged him (insert...
4 tags
A Glass of Wine with Osama bin Laden
San Diego, CA
I tend to be passionate; hence this blog and its scandalous title. I also tend to be, what appears to some as, irreverent. So sometimes, I am passionately irreverent or irreverently passionate. When Obama bin Laden died, I became one of the two, via Facebook and Twitter. I searched comical tweets about bin Laden and began copying and pasting them to my Facebook status update. I was...
