November 2011
11 posts
Watch
6 tags
San Diego, CA
I started tweeting again recently. This is what my friend, Garrett had to say about it.
Read this if you don’t know what his last hashtag means.
5 tags
Teachers 2 v. Jessica 0
San Diego, CA
I am certain that humans are naturally depraved. Nothing has convinced me more of this than my relationship with teachers.
I left most of my teachers believing I had some sort of severe learning disability. Technically, I don’t. I never did homework and by my senior year of high school, I ditched at least one class daily. Learning disability or lazy, you be the judge. Some...
7 tags
Thanksgiving Conversations
San Diego, CA
Homeless uncle was in the bathroom for fifteen minutes. This begins to make the family uncomfortable because he is either drinking or violating the bathroom with fecal matter.
Mom: Ugh, Homeless Uncle really stunk up the bathroom. Ewww (violently waves her hand to scatter the stench).
Pause
Aunt: Oh sorry. That was me.
Jessica: Bahahahahahaha
____________
Going around the...
2 tags
San Diego, CA
Last month, before I launched the site, I asked my friend Bailey for some advice. Look at how supportive he is.
5 tags
Teachers 1 v. Jessica 0
San Diego, CA
I am certain that humans are naturally depraved. Nothing has convinced me more of this than my relationship with teachers.
I once called my eighth grade teacher a F***ing B****.
You know how the Bible talks about being dead in your sin. Well sometimes I debate within my heart as to when the good Lord truly made me alive. Was it when I repeated after my mom to ask Jesus into my...
9 tags
Introducing: Boss Lady
San Diego, CA
I have a boss lady. Her name is Jen. For about the last couple of years, Jen has been one of the most influential kicks in the butt of my life. There is no topic relevant to me that she is unwilling or unable to give advice on. Period. The woman is unstoppable. Mother of three under the age of four, MBA, ball-buster at a defense consulting company, wife to deployed Navy doctor and...
WatchKristen Wiig’s Global Warming Solution from Kristen Wiig
6 tags
Teachers v. Jessica
San Diego, CA
I am certain that humans are naturally depraved. Nothing has convinced me more of this than my relationship with teachers.
I believe High School fosters an ample opportunity for humor. This primarily occurs when your teacher is funny. I once had a Star Wars loving, nerdy, music teacher who was just that. Funny. Unfortunately, like most male teachers, I challenged him (insert...
4 tags
A Glass of Wine with Osama bin Laden
San Diego, CA
I tend to be passionate; hence this blog and its scandalous title. I also tend to be, what appears to some as, irreverent. So sometimes, I am passionately irreverent or irreverently passionate. When Obama bin Laden died, I became one of the two, via Facebook and Twitter. I searched comical tweets about bin Laden and began copying and pasting them to my Facebook status update. I was...
Jesus Joke
There’s this joke. It’s a corking thrill of a joke, my favorite actually. I first heard it at church from my youth pastor, who happens to be one of the funnier men I know. To write it out would suffice it none, but I will laconically express that it involved the last supper and Jesus making fun of Judas. Upon its delivery, the crowd, including myself roared with laughter. Who doesn’t like a...
